Lori and I have agonized over whether or not to share this outside of our close circle, but we desperately need community support and every prayer warrior we can get to pray for our dear Bailey. When a child is sick, we ask for prayer. When a child is hurt we ask for prayer. When a child is terminally ill, we ask for prayer. When a child is lost or missing, we ask for prayer…and good hearts rally. When a child is struggling with mental health, we hide and keep quiet because it’s too embarrassing and we struggle alone. Why do we do this? Partly because somewhere in the story of mankind, to show struggle was to show weakness. Physical illness is okay, but mental illness slaps us in a jail cell with a label of “crazy” and shame is the jailer who keeps us prisoner.

Lately we’ve been encouraging others to counteract death with life, while referencing John 10:10 where Jesus says this:

The thief has been after Bailey for a long time, and often Bailey’s reactions have made situations worse. Sharing her story is for her to do when she’s ready, but after much prayer and reflection we want to give you the 30,000 foot view because 1) we need your prayer, 2) we’re not the only ones struggling with mental health and we hope to encourage others to seek the help and support their hearts so desperately need. Finally, I (Joseph) personally want to kick shame in the teeth. I refuse to let shame have its place in my domain.

The week before Bailey’s senior year was to start, she entered into a residential intervention center. The pain stored up in her body from the trauma she has experienced in life, and the walls she built up around her to survive her world were becoming too detrimental for healthy engagement in any relationship. We agonized over the decision to place her in a treatment center and have been fighting off depression ourselves throughout this process. It has been so difficult to see all the “Senior Sunday” and first/last day of school pictures being posted to social media. We couldn’t celebrate. We couldn’t post anything, not even of our youngest two for their first day of school. “What if we post just the younglings and someone asks about Bailey, then a lot of rumors get started about her at school?” is how the conversations went. We could only hold each other and our younglings and cry in hidden silence.

The enemy has stolen so much from Bailey and from our family: physically, emotionally, experientially, relationally, and financially. And now he’s stealing her senior year.

We’ve decided to not let that happen! I have no doubt if she had a serious physical-medical condition, the support around us would be on a global and monumental scale. Why then would we not seek prayer and support for something else that could possibly take her life?!

We know our family is not alone in the fight for the heart of a loved one. We have chased every financially viable avenue available for Bailey’s healing: medical, behavioral health, school support, and interceding prayer. All along the way we have encountered great and loving people who want and have tried to help Bailey. We’ve also encountered well intentioned people who couldn’t handle the weight of our struggle, which is another way the enemy pounces. “See, you’re just too much,” “Don’t share that with anyone ever again,” “No one can handle your mess,” are all examples of the lies the enemy has whispered to get us to retreat into isolation.

The misguided pressure Generation Z is under to be perfect and flawless, while simultaneously being consumed by the world, at a much broader scale than ever before (especially for girls and young women), is a sinister result of social media and could likely destroy an entire generation. Bailey was always so afraid that if anyone knew she was getting help for anything, they would devour her, so she rejected assistance all along the way. Despite our every effort to protect Bailey’s heart from the evil side of social media and wounded hearts who wound other hearts, the enemy always found a way in and then blamed us for it. If you haven’t seen the documentaries Social Dilemma and Social Animals on Netflix, I highly recommend you watch them both in that order. It will give you some insight into their world…Bailey’s world.

Residential treatment has long been suggested, but affordability was always out of our reach. Great facilities are too expensive and the best are private pay, because insurance companies are too cumbersome to work with. So much more could be said on that alone, but I’ll simplify it to this. The thief is hard at work stealing, killing and destroying through greed.

The enemy is literally hell bent on destroying the lives of God’s beloved.

If the enemy is hell bent on destroying anything that brings life, we’re going to be Heaven bent on bringing Life into everything!

Jesus reminded us to look for Life and embrace it as Lori and I sat alone outside of the intervention center after releasing Bailey to their care. As we held each other and prayed, a butterfly flew in and danced on air all around us then danced toward the building. Butterflies are so special to Lori and her healing story. We both cried and thanked Jesus for the beautiful gift. He was telling us all would be well. We were releasing her to Him, not them. Bailey was created to dance on air, and we have no doubt Jesus is going to love her back to life.

Will you join us in praying for Bailey? Pray against every tactic of the enemy (fear, paranoia, shame, deceit, hatred of others and self, death) and that the River of Life would flow in Jesus name!

If you or a loved one are struggling with mental health, please reach out to a professional. Be careful with your story as you share with others, though. Your story is precious, because your heart is precious. Don’t give the enemy any ammunition to fire back at you, until Jesus turns it into ammunition against the enemy and you can stand firm on the truth of who you are created to be.

To show struggle may be to show weakness through the lens of the world, but in Jesus, to give Him your weakness is to be made strong.

Bailey is beautiful, bright, gifted, artistic, caring and compassionate. Her good heart is truly a delight! She is not defined by her struggle, and neither are you.

We share this with you for the reasons listed above, but entirely because we choose to stand firm in the promises and Life Jesus has come to offer. We hold on daily to the very scripture (Romans 8:18-19) Jesus used to reveal the ministry for which he created us…Revealed Image.  May this verse encourage you as well. Write them on your heart and recall them often. Take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5).

If you’re having suicidal ideations, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Send us an email so we can pray for you. If any of this resonates with your heart, please share our story so others may be encouraged in their struggle as well.

For the Kingdom, for Bailey.

Joseph and Lori

Here are the kindergarten and senior pictures we hold dear to our hearts:

Suggested further reading:

Jesus is the semicolon; let your story continue…

a favorite reminder of Lori’s.