The Outrider

Become the Man You Needed

Joseph D. Mize

What if the man you became to survive is hurting the people you love?

You promised you would be different.

You would not repeat your father’s anger, absence, control, or emotional distance. You would work hard, provide, protect your family, and become the man others could depend on.

But determination alone will only get you so far.

As a husband, father, leader, provider, and protector, you know how to carry responsibility. You solve problems, push through exhaustion, and hold everything together. Yet the strength that helped you survive may now be creating distance from the people you most want to love.

Your family does not need you to try harder.

They need the man God created you to be.

The Outrider: Become the Man You Needed is a discipleship journey for the Christian man who loves his family but knows that good intentions, spiritual knowledge, and greater effort have not healed his anger, isolation, striving, or need for control.

Through raw stories of grief, failure, family wounds, healing, and redemption, Joseph D. Mize confronts a difficult truth: a man can awaken to his strength and spiritual purpose while continuing to operate from old training outside of love. He can even begin posing as the hero and unintentionally wound the people he is trying to protect.

Jesus never asked you to be the hero. He invites you to ride with Him.

Within the painting that inspired this book, My Bunkie by Charles Schreyvogel, the wounded soldier is the Downed Rider. Jesus is the Rescuer. The Outrider does not take His place. He stays close, protects the space around the rescue, and helps wounded hearts focus on Jesus.

In these pages, you will discover:

• How childhood wounds continue shaping your adult relationships

• Why responsibility without belovedness becomes a crushing burden

• The difference between protecting your family and trying to control them

• How spiritual knowledge can become another pose when healing has not reached your heart

• Why healthy authority begins with receiving the Father’s love

• How to live as a beloved son instead of striving for approval

• A pathway toward becoming a safe, loving, and trustworthy presence at home

This is not a formula for becoming more powerful, impressive, or successful. It is an invitation to surrender your strength to Jesus and let Him father the places determination alone could never heal.

Guided reflections, honest prayers, and original songs from The Outrider’s Ballad create space to slow down, listen, and encounter Jesus along the trail.

Your first mission field is your heart and home.

You cannot change what happened to you. But through Jesus, you can change what flows through you to your children and your children’s children.

Become the man you needed.

Not by becoming the hero.

By riding with Him.

What is an Outrider?

The Outrider is a beloved son (or daughter) who partners with the Holy Spirit to escort someone from where they are into Jesus care. Understanding Jesus is the hero of our story and the rescue belongs to him, frees us from the pressure of the outcome and allows us to simply be his beloved. Then, all the training for the roles we're meant to fulfill become much more clear for us to follow.

The Outrider is the role we play in the Larger Story — living from our beloved identity as children of the Father and co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8).

I first saw the image of “My Bunkie,” a painting by Charles Schreyvogel, at a Wild at Heart event in Colorado in 2011. A shift in focus has led to a deeper understanding, and has changed everything for us and we want to share this revelation with you.

I had been to a number of events and had been working on my cousin for four years to attend one. Finally, Jason, who was in the US Cavalry and a part of the horse detachment unit stationed at Ft. Hood, was able to attend the Wild at Heart Boot Camp in Piney Woods, Texas a few years back. He was beyond excited to receive the image of “My Bunkie” in his packet (he was wearing the exact same uniform the day before), calling it a sign and began to share much detail with me about their training. They re-enact the pic at the detachment, which is known as “Downed Rider Pickup”. He began to decipher the picture, which includes four individuals: the “Downed Rider”, “Rescuer”, and two “Outriders”. He explained that new riders to the detachment have to be rescued. The other three are the best riders. They’ve been there for a while. Not only had they been “rescued”, but each had then spent a lot of time in the saddle. The reason for this is simple…it’s dangerous. Running full speed with a 1000lb animal at a downed rider standing on the ground in order to have the jump on the back of that animal can go all kinds of wrong in a hurry. I was blown away by his description of training and process and soaked it all in like a sponge. 

That weekend, after the poser session, Jesus pointed me to a hard reality. I had switched my pose. He said, “Stop posing as the Rescuer!” A vision of the whole picture came to mind, then He said, “You’re the Outrider,” as the image zoomed into a tight shot of the rider in the back.

I rose quickly from my nap, my cowboy hat flying from my head, amazed and completely ashamed at the same time. I had been attempting to rescue people, but was instead running them over. The frequent (and hardest hit) casualties were my wife and kids. I broke with that pose quickly and had to seek deep forgiveness to be free from the shame.

Upon my return home, I prayed and stared and listened at a picture of “My Bunkie”. God then unpacked a deeper understanding of the image. The “Downed Rider” is just that. Down. It is a person who needs to be rescued for the first time or a rider who has been taken out, shot off his (or her) horse. The “Rescuer” is Jesus. Notice He’s the only one with His sleeves rolled up. This is His intimate touch of restoration.  Then there are the two “Outriders”, which are there to provide cover and protection during the rescue so the “Downed Rider” can focus on Jesus and Jesus alone. The one to the right has no face and represents the Holy Spirit. The Outrider in the back…that’s the roll we are to play.

First you have to be rescued. Then you have to learn how to ride. You have to “earn your spurs”, so to speak, as my cousin described the process of training at the US Cavalry horse detachment. Even if this “ain’t your first rodeo”, it takes time in the saddle, being trained by the best…Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It’s a process that requires healing and unlearning. Unlearning the things we’ve learned wrong about God as Father, Son and Spirit, ourselves and others. We then begin to learn the deep truths rooted in scripture and unpacked by the Holy Spirit which provide training as we grow as desciples (maturing sons and daughters of God). When we release the pressure to rescue and leave the out comes of that role with Jesus, it frees us up to be the beloved we are created to be. We learn to operate in our role as the Outrider, in partnership with the Holy Spirit, and allow the Downed Rider to focus on Jesus and the pommel of His saddle, it’s an amazing and beautiful sight to behold!

Embracing the concept of the Outrider is understanding the difference between role and identity. It allows us to bring our value as beloved sons and daughters into what we do, as opposed to seeking value in the doing. There’s so much more to explore within this concept, and we continue to grow deeper and wider in our understanding of living in our beloved identity and bringing that love into all we do. Stepping into the saddle as an Outrider is a lifestyle that is a beautiful partnership with the Holy Spirit in all that we do for the Kingdom. If you would like to learn more about the process of becoming an Outrider, please send us a message. We also have quality Outrider caps available for purchase that are a great conversation piece to talk about Jesus, beloved identity, and the process of becoming… being revealed. Order your cap and send us a message from the links below.

Outriders! Let’s Ride!

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