It's time for you to be revealed!
In the beginning was a boy, and the boy was God's, and God was the boy's. He was made in God's male image. Through him many things were to be made; without him, things God had to be made with him would not be made. In him was his Father's delight and that delight was the fuel of his adventure. The boy was to shine in the darkness, but the darkness distorted his image, and he succumbed to the brokenness of the darkness.
Doesn't every story have a beginning? If you're familiar with the Gospel of John, you may recognize this as having a similar flow to its beginning, but with very different meaning.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:1-5NIV
People blog to tell a story, share their knowledge, grow their network, business or ministry, share their interests, ideas or life hacks. There are many more reasons, no doubt, but the question I've continued coming back to for myself is this: Why should I blog?
I've never cared about writing in my life. In fact, I had to take 10th grade English twice, only for the fact that I refused to do a research paper. I take that back. There is one thing I've rather enjoyed writing…my signature on the back of a paycheck. I don't like to talk in front of people, and there is no way on God's green earth that I'm going to pray in front of anyone, much less do something that would be categorized as ministry. At least that's who I was eight years ago.
So why am I writing this blog? Because there is a message that's burning like fire inside of me. A message that I cannot shut up about. A message based on what Jesus has done for me; to be honest, it would be easier to catch a lightning bolt than to share what God has done for my family over the past decade. The message is in fact the Word. On this journey of restoration, God has shown me that He intended the story of the boy above to be more like the story of the Word in John. The message burning within me is this: You are already created, it's time for you to be revealed!"
My story started as a young boy on a farm in Arkansas. I was filled with my father's delight and had dreams of grand adventures. I longed to be called up into the adventures he shared with his friends and created mock adventures with my friends to mirror his. My only desire was to be just like my dad. Unfortunately, and in spite of my dad's best efforts to raise me "right" and protect my family, cow patties hit the fan at every stage of my life. The results of which turned me into a lonely, isolated and driven anal sphincter. By the time I was thirty, everything looked great by anyone's standards on the outside, but I was beginning to lose it on the inside. By thirty-two, my world was falling apart. Not the world around me, but the world within me and it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.
Sometime during that year, I found myself in tears and springing up from the pew I so consistently held down on the back row and went forward in church. The pastor had said something about Peter failing then being broken, but he was still a disciple. The tears were mine, the springing up was the Holy Spirit stirring an awakening in me that came the instant I realized I was actually broken. Evidence was everywhere, or the feeling was everywhere, that I was failing at every turn and had been for a long time. I had to admit I was broken and could no longer do "this" on my own. What I didn't know at that moment was that, "this", was the weight the world. Or rather, it was the weight of my world and was way too heavy for this thing that looked like a man to hold.
Two powerful things happened that day. The matriarch of our church gave me a big hug and told me that if I was really ready to give God control of everything in my life that I needed to watch out for what He was about to do. I said "Bring it! I'm so ready!" God wasted no time. As I walked out to my vehicle, there stood the husband of my wife's friend. He felt compelled to tell me about a book and this conference thing he had just returned from out in Colorado. The book was "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge and the conference was a Wild at Heart Boot Camp. He shared a little bit about the event and recommended I at least read the book. Guess what my wife bought the next day?
Reading wasn't my thing, so the book sat beside my bed for about a month. As fate would have it, Lori was visiting her cousin in Oklahoma and her husband had the audiobook so they gave it to us. A few days passed and I had the opportunity to slip the CD in and listen as we traveled out of town for our thirteenth wedding anniversary. Less than ten minutes into the book, Eldredge mentions that we hold up nice guys as models of male Christianity. The moment he said "…reach the lofty summit of being a nice guy," a presence overcame me and I paused the playback, looked at Lori and said, "I have to teach men how to be the men God created them to be." This was May 2010, and I had no idea what in the world it meant, only that it was true.
We continued to listen and pause and talk about all of the themes Eldredge mentions, which led me into a complete devouring of the book and the scriptures and other books. I listened to them, I read them. Scanned the bible in every translation I could. I had been awakened to a great desire and unquenchable thirst for truth. The very next opportunity I had to speak with the friend who told me about W@H, I told him that we had to teach this. Everyone needs to know about this! His response was, "Hey man, I just wanted you to read the book." I convinced him to come on a drive with me to view some property my family owns and share a vision of ministry that God had given me. On the way as we talked about the vision and my wife's profession and how the two of us were going to do this together, something came out of my mouth that I had never heard nor had never thought about. It went something like this, "Lori's created in the image of God as female and I'm created in the image of God as male, so together as one that means we're a complete image of God in our world and nothing is going to stop us from bringing the Kingdom."
Over the next two years I was able to attend a Wild at Heart Boot Camp and then an Advanced as well as spend a considerable amount of time in the woods; praying or listening to audiobooks and the bible. God had brought me into much healing. Some of these stories and those that follow will be shared in future posts as examples. The tangible, "you can't make this stuff up," kind of examples.
So back to why this message is burning inside of me…
I had been awakened, found healing, began to understand that I was in the midst of some kind of process, had a new understanding of being created in the image of God and what that could mean in marriage, but was stumbling along in some of the hardest times of our life. In the excitement of being awakened, I had forgotten the advice of the matriarch and found myself in the midst of some very painful and emotionally unraveling moments. Some of these moments were in the last days of a dear friend who was dying of breast cancer. At only thirty years old, she had discovered a lump while breastfeeding her second child. The cancer ravaged her body, but her spirit had come fully alive. Through very different situations of brokenness, she and I were beginning to understand unity. Spiritual unity like no one in our circles had fully grasped before. While praying and believing for healing and even having a vision of her being healed, all God led me to was that she was healed and that He was more concerned about our hearts being healed than our bodies. The suffering we were all witness to and a part of, didn't compare to the glory that was coming for her. Life is in the Spirit. That was the theme of her suffering.
The Revelation:
The weekend she went into the ICU, I was camping with a few men stumbling through an introduction to themes from Wild at Heart, so I wasn't able to get there with family and friends until Monday. The camping trip started with four men, including me. We ended the weekend with two. Me and the guy who told me about W@H. Feeling like a total failure on the last day, I went walking and praying through the woods. I was crying out in my heart to God to make me a better leader, a better husband, a better dad, a better employee, a better man… God cut me off with a bold daddy voice saying, "Stop asking to be made! You're already created. It's time for you to be revealed." At that moment my body trembled, my knees hit the ground, and I was in awe of what had just happened.
The Confirmation:
That next week, I was able to make it to the hospital to visit with my friend and her family. Knowing about my camping trip, some asked how it had gone. I shared the failure of the whole weekend, but also what I had heard about being revealed. As our friend was fading, I wanted to keep everyone's eyes focused on Jesus and had a good idea where her heart was. I sat down in the waiting room to read John 17 and Jesus' prayer for unity, but when my bible fell open a few certain words jumped off the page to me. "Life through the Spirit." Being fully aware of the moment and that my friend found life in scripture every day by opening the bible and reading what fell open, I was compelled to read Romans chapter 8. I had read this chapter before, but this time the words flew off of the page and formed a clarity I had completely missed before. Paul talks about not being in a realm of flesh but of the Spirit (v.9) and that those led by the Spirit of God are the Children of God (v.14). However, I didn't make it past verse 18. "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." NIV That was it! That's exactly what we were experiencing with our friend. Her suffering wasn't worth comparing to the glory she had shown us and was now stepping into!
Stopping at verse 18, I was in an almost state of shock and mentioned to all in the room that they needed to read Romans chapter 8. While sitting and quietly soaking in the moment, one of the ladies in the room said to me, "I bet verse 19 is your favorite verse in the whole bible." My first response was, "Huh," then after reading it, my jaw hit the floor. "For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to BE REVEALED." NIV This is exactly what I had previously shared with them of my weekend and here it was in scripture. I was in complete awe, but still had no grasp on what it all really meant. It was all very surreal.
The Validation:
Our friend went dancing with Jesus, and two days later we experienced our fourth miscarriage. It was a time of sorrow, but our hearts were at peace and we had hope and reason to celebrate. We were confident that we would hug our friend again and hold the four children we had lost, plus we had three healthy children at home and an adventure ahead. Lori and I had a trip scheduled to Italy for our fifteenth wedding anniversary.
God had orchestrated time of celebration, beauty and rest for us. Lori's cousin and husband were missionaries for Campus Crusade for Christ, so we had built in travel agents, chauffeurs, and translators. As we swapped stories of what was going on in our lives and after sharing about, "Be Revealed," and Romans 8:19, Matt recommended we visit the Academia in Florence. He told us that the great renaissance artist, Michelangelo, said something similar about sculpting. He believed he was only a tool led by the Holy Spirit to reveal the image that God had already placed within the stone. Some of Michelangelo's unfinished works, known as prisoners, as well as the David are in the Academia.
Once we made it to Florence, I couldn't wait to visit the museum and once we arrived, I moved rather quickly to the hall of prisoners. When we entered the hall, it was almost as though we were standing on holy ground. I could sense the presence of God and was drawn down the hallway to stop in front of the statue of Atlas. Before me was the full representation of what God had been telling me. Looking at the statue, it's easy to see that it's a man and that he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders. He's also held captive by his environment and all that's around him, and there is nothing within his own ability to free himself. He was a prisoner, and not by his own doing. I stood there for what felt like hours, just soaking it all in.
The Hall of Prisoners opens to a naturally lit rotunda. In it stands Michelangelo's David. An image fully revealed as it was created to be, which just happened to be inspired by the man after God's own heart. Standing there, looking up at his eyes, you can see that this man, with the sling draped over his shoulder and the stone held loosely in his hand, is ready to either go to war or make love. It doesn't really matter, because he knows who and who's he is.
The Process:
In the midst of this thing called life, what we stumbled upon, or more like into, was a process of restoring what was lost, rebuilding what should have been, and revealing of what should be. Through the invitation of ministries like Ransomed Heart, and a deep saturation in the bible, a picture of original intent became visible to us. It was as though, like Michelangelo looking at stone and seeing God's masterpiece, we were looking at the bible and our lives and other's lives and were able to see the image within. But the image was a true reflection, not of a man or woman in the mirror reflecting only what's seen on the outside, but rather seeing through the mirror to the son or daughter that God had created. Imagine looking at your reflection in a stream of water. On the surface you may recognize yourself, but look through the image and you see the life below. What might you see? I like to imagine this as a young spike buck looking into that stream of life and seeing the reflection of a massive Boone and Crockett trophy looking right back.
Luke 19 tells us the story of Zaccheus. Zaccheus was so much more than a "wee little man." Much more than a sinner, much more than a chief tax collector. He was a son. When Jesus spotted him and made known that He was going to visit his house, the crowd grumbled. To which Jesus responded by stating Zaccheus was also a son of Abraham and then in verse 10, "For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."
What was lost?
Creation.
God created us, not for religion or even relationship, but for unity. To be ONE with him. That was Jesus' prayer for us in John 17 and what He came back to restore.
More to come with the next post about God's original design and the restoration of what has been lost (stolen, killed, and destroyed) in our stories, and how being revealed in Christ is better than Eden.
Be Revealed,
Joseph
Lori and I near the Uffizi Gallery Museum in Florence, Italy, May 2012.