"I Heard from God!"
The most wonderful thing just happened! The younglings had been fussing on and off all day. I made them stay in their room and work together to get it cleaned up. It soon got quiet as John David faded off into a nap. Halle Grace continued to pick up quietly, then came down stairs to talk to me. She had been pushing back against reading (we recently started to homeschool) and was having a hard time listening and obeying. Many responses were through whining or arguing and most conversations as of late have been about listening and reaffirming that she is loved. “How can you learn, if you don’t listen?” has been my favorite question these past few weeks, while at the same time attempting to make sure each of them feel loved. These are rough waters.
After Halle Grace came down stairs, and we began to talk, to prove a point about learning, I asked her what she wanted to do when she grows up. I was expecting dance, act, or have a lot of kids, but she then responded immediately saying, “Pastor!” I was caught off guard for just a tiny moment and didn’t immediately respond. She then asked if that was bad, quivering a bit in her voice. “No!” I said. Then I began to ask her what a pastor does. “Love and have compassion for others,” she said, “and to teach people about God.” I said that’s absolutely correct. Then went into only being able to offer what we receive and a pastor has to read and study and learn to hear the voice of God, but can only hear when they listen, and can only listen when they’re not talking…trying to prove a point of sound educational wisdom.
What she said in response floored me. “I heard from God. I was cleaning my room and felt a tingle in my mind then He said, ‘You are loved. You are cared.’” She continued, “I closed my eyes real tight and He was there in my room glowing bright and His clothes were floating.” At this point, I’ve recognized profoundly that I’m the one who needed to be quiet and listen. Really, the Holy Spirit had a hold of my tongue and had my heart dialed in. She finished by saying, “He said don't be afraid. I'm the Lord. Then reached out His hand and said, ‘Follow me,’ and I said ‘YES!’”
Insert big eyes and jaws dropped here. Then quickly and almost simultaneously a smile longer than the Mississippi! Why did I ask her the question, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” Because God wanted her to be received and validated into the Kingdom. How close was I to blowing it? A breath away! Not everything that happens to us is spiritual warfare, but everything that happens is an opportunity for warfare. There was definitely an opportunity for me to pipe right in and say, “Well, dear…pastors are only supposed to be boys,” or some other male-dominated, conservative, traditional response.
I almost missed the moment and missed her heart. Had I not, in that very moment, practiced the very thing I was preaching at her, I would have offered her up to Satan’s interpretation that what just happened to her wasn’t real and she’s not really loved, or cared for, or worthy of following God.
I am beyond grateful and thankful for the restoration of some young mishandled places in my own heart, so that God could come for her heart in guiding me to validate her. I talk and talk about “partnering with God” instead of “doing for God”. Very rarely do I have such a tangible and glorious moment to share such as this!
We continued our conversation into baptism, which I won’t go into here so that the lens of doctrine won’t blur what you see in this post. I will say she can’t wait to get baptized and I offered today. However, there’s a small body of water on our family’s property back in Arkansas, and she wants to wait and get baptized there where her older brother and sister were baptized. It then occurred to me, that’s the perfect place for a family burial plot!
We talked a bit more, then she wanted to pray. I said, “Go for it.” She began to pray the most beautiful prayer I have ever heard in all my days. I’m crying again just typing this. In the next moments, we called Mom and told her. More tears of joy, then as I continued to talk to Lori, Halle Grace meandered outside on the swing and I could hear her singing, “I’m no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God.”
Jesus, wow! Thank you for blessing us with this beautiful daughter of God! Please continue to guide us as we guide her back to you.
I’ll leave you with the song Halle Grace was just singing and with a couple questions. Are you afraid of anything? If so, what? Are you a child of God? If so, you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but to full acceptance and equal adoption as a child of God.
“14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
8:15 The Greek word for adoption to sonship is a term referring to the full legal standing of an adopted male heir in Roman culture; ”